How to Find the Things that Make Your Loved One Happy

Giving gift  itself is a gift. It can cool down an anger person. It can make a baby love to bloom. Or, a bribery to give you something you want from a person or whatever. Why is it so powerful? Because it trigger positive emotions of the receiver and a happy person can agree to almost anything.

To trigger the best emotion, we need to give the best gift  and to do that, we need to know that person’s interest and passion.

Here’s 9 tips to find things that make your loved one happy:

Pay attention to the things that person talks about when he’s in extreme happiness.

Psuchologically, we tend to talk about things that suits out emotion on that time. If we were happy, we tend to talk about something that makes us feel happy, things that love us, things that we love, things that give us a good feeling.

So pay attention to those things. The best thing is the things that is mentioned when that person is in extreme excitement. For example, you get “you know what, …..!!!” “I love to…” “wish we can…” and all this were mentioned while smiling, with the eyes opened widely, eyes looking at the above, the skies, the ceiling, the…whatever above. Tha’s the sign of imagination. Dreams, happiness. Note that.

Things that make your loved one stops for a long time during shopping

I have a friend who, just like me, isn’t interested in shopping. But I noticed that whenever we walk pass mannequin shops, she’ll walk slower and stops longer even when she buys nothing from any of the stores. That could hint something.

Things that your loved one always talk about when he/she’s online

Studies shows that people tend to be more to themselves when they are online. They’ll talk about something that really interest them only. So go and stalk their online activities. For example, forums and clubs or journal online. For example, one might not seem to be interested in Korean songs in real life, but might be a fan of Korean entertainment industry online. Stalk. Take note. Put it in your potential gift list.

Things that your loved one is collecting

If you see that your loved one has some things that they don’t actually need but they keep buying it anyway, than that’d be your potential gift.

Facebook Page

Stalk that person’s Facebook account and take note the pages he/she likes.Take note of the majority page likes. For example, I love coffee so much and you’ll see many pages about coffee in my liked pages list. This is a short cut you don’t want to miss!

Instagram Account

 Again, pay attention to your loved one’s intagram account and take note the accounts he/she follows. It tells almost everything that you need.

Profile pictures

People are usually tend to associate themselves with something that they think the best. For example, again, my best friend who loves cars mannequin so much, use Macqueen photos as her profile picture. Other friends use football clubs, cats, dogs, or even flowers as their profile pictures. If it’s their own pictures, scrutinize the picture, the picture could be the best picture for them to represent themselves so take note. If it shows caps, u can give a nice cap as a gift. If it shows an obsession with camera, you know what’d be the perfect gift right?

Overall, finding the interest and passion is essential to choose the best gift for your loved ones.  Apply these tips and experience the best reaction from your loved one. All the best!

How to Choose the Best Gift for Your Spouse or Lover

Giving gift has been proven over and over again as among the best love Generator in the universe.

There is no question on its effectiveness in helping human kind since the beginning of time in expressing love, feeling loved, expressing apologies, recognizing sincerity, showing thankfulness, feeling touched, receiving forgiveness and many more.

However, the best effect comes only with the best gift.

So how do we choose the best gift?

Here’s 9 tips to choose the best gift that will melt the heart of the receiver:

Pay attention to the things that person loves

This might be too obvious but always been taken for granted. To have the best reaction for your gift, it’s not sufficient to just brainstorm the possible gift. Or copy gifts given by other couples which got awesome reactions. No. it doesn’t work that way. To get the best impact from your gift, you need to choose the best gift for your loved one your self.

The best gift to your best friend’s girlfriend is not a confirmation that the gift would be the best gift to your girlfriend.

Choose gifts that suit your loved one's interest and passion. 

Make a list of the interest

This is very basic, yet many failed to give it a proper attention. Make a list. This is to give you choices and filter out the less special one. Some prefer on a paper, some prefer on their head. It’s ok. Make sure you have 5 things on your list. If you have more than 5, shorten the list to just 5. This way, you’ll filter the less effective gifts. This also enable you to give the perfect gift to your loved one.

Split testing

When you already have the 5 things on your list, proceed and give a hint about all of them in an indirect way. If you have traveling in your list, say something like “wish we can be some where else now…” pay attention to his/her reactions. It’s the best potential gift when you get “OMG!” or “I wish we can be ……. Now” or “AAAAAaaaa!!!!” or any other passionate reactions.

Note that you’ll get a mush lower pitch reactions from guys. Like “Ahh..i wish..” or  a light up facial expressions or a fast look from him or something. All of these shows extreme excitement. Chances are, you’ll get the same (if not more) reaction for the gift.

Hint about all the things you’ve listed. And choose the one that get the best reaction from that person.

Combine 2 or 3 of the listed interest in one gift

For example, if you have your name, cell phone accessories and paintings in your list. You can make a custom power bank printed with your drawings. And put your initial signature in the drawing. This would melt his/her heart. The power bank has the chance to stay with that person until the end of time even when it’s not functioning any more.

The romantic wrapper

Gift wrappers or box, or presentation as a whole. this is usually neglected. 

I used to wrap a gift for my best friend with newspapers on the outside, and inside, i wrapped it with a pretty expensive gifts wrappers and ribbons and lace and a nice drawing. the reason behind this is, because i have to give the gift during school and i was quite embarrass about it. so i conceal the pretty wrappings with news papers. 

She was uninterested with the gift when she received it. she said her thanks and we proceed gossiping. and tomorrow meeting, i got her best thanks packaged with a high pitched illustration on the wrappings and the gift, on how pretty it was and how shocked she was yesterday. and the smile remains until now. it can be a good memory. even when all of us has grown up so much. 

So pay attention to the wrappings.

for guys, wrap it with his favorite football club logos, or his favourite color. or just paint his name the way he likes the most. the best you can make possible.  

Pay attention to the things that that person doesn’t like

Avoid the things that that person hates, or the things that can trigger negative emotion from that person.

This seems obvious, but for some people, even this is not listed in their skills book.

For example, a husband who saw his wife doesn’t show any interest when he’s talking about bycicle goes and buys her a bycicle as a birthday gift. Just because he enjoys cycling. This happens. And the impact of the gift may disappoint that person and you as the giver.

A letter

Write something. Couple your gift with a history, an appreciation words, a love letter, a romantic request, or anything. Pour your heart out. I’m the kind who can’t really say embarrassing things to the person I love, but I can say it in the SMSms, whatsapp, emails, postcards or anything other than saying it directly to them. Use your strength.

Give the letter on a its best time

Give the letter to your loved one after that person already received the gift. After he/she has unwrapped the gift. After that person tried the gift. Not with the gift or before. This way, you’ll get an even better reaction from your loved one. A simple letter could give a very emotional feeling at this time as they already received the gift, and already felt the excitement and felt loved.

Try it.

The magic word

Finally, don’t shy away from saying ‘I love you’ to your loved ones.

A bunch of roses is a wonderful gift, but a bunch of roses which comes with an ‘I love you’ note is powerful to trigger the emotions. 

3 TIPS TO BOOST UP YOUR LOVE LIFE

3 Small Things that can Improve Your Love Life

Hand-Holding

A study by University of Virginia psychologist, Dr. James Coan shows that holding hands with your spouses or strangers has a soothing effect in our brains. It greatly reduces the stress, fear, uncertainly, alarm, pain and other negative emotions.

Dr. James Coan, one of the researchers, said,

"We found that holding the hand of really anyone, it made your brain work a little less hard in coping."

However, studies shows that the relief is very apparent when the subject hold their spouse's hand compared to strangers'.

So, if your spouse's hand can provide immediate relief for you, it can certainly provide the same to your spouse.

So do hold your spouse hands frequently.

It boosts up the emotional connection between you and your loved ones.

And never reject physical touch from your spouse. The studies also shows that While holding your spouse's hand provides immediate relief from emotional pain, rejection of the same would cause the same shock as the ankle shock to human brain. This also explains that withdrawal of touches or physical affection can be so affecting.

“Nothing in this world compares to the comfort and security of having someone just hold your hand.” - Richelle E. Goodrich

Exchange looks

Look at each other when you communicate. In every single communication. Verbal or body language. 

A case study conducted in 1989 by psychologist conforms that an eye contact can make some one falls in love.  lock an eye contact with a stranger for two to three minutes and affections is already developed between the two.

After all, "the eye is the mirror or the soul".

Reach your lover's soul with your love.

One useful tip, look at your loved one's eyes as much as you can when your mood is good. Especially when you're extremely happy and content. That would boost up your love life in record time.

But, avoid eye contact as possible when you're angry or frustrated. Because it'll go straight to his heart. and most of the time, stays there forever.

So remember, look at your spouse's or lover's eyes as you communicate.

 Get your love and affection tattooed in his soul.

"Making eye contact is a key gateway for love" - Barbara Fredrickson

Shoower Together

Shower is an extremely private act. It's the space where a person enjoys his utmost privacy.

Shower together breaks the highest barries between your loved one and yourself. 

You'll get closer in every aspect when showering together, sharing that personal space with him or her.

you'll notice a huge difference in your love life afterwards.

you'll become emottionally warmer, softer and more affectionate towards each other.

So go and plan a shower together. Prepare the bathroom to be a romantic space. be affectionate and playful. take advantage of the proximity. Do some dirty things if you want. Have fun together. You'll see that it's a powerful medicine to stress and an extremely power love booster.

N. N. Ibrati.

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CAN LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS / MARRIAGES LAST?

Can a Long Distance Relationship Last?

If you asked me can a long distance relationship survives, my answer would be, 'hardly'. can  a long distance relationship stay strong for years? 'maybe'. can  a long distance relationship last forever? 'unfortunately, very unlikely'.

On what basis do I based my opinion above? through years of first hand witnessing hundreds of love and relationship crashes as a divorce lawyer. every single day, the same stories were told to me, with a slight difference of details here and there. but the very core of the problem? always the same, long distance relationship.

Do you know that many divorce lawyers actually do a minimal work in preparing their final
submission in court? because 99.9% of the time, the story has been told hundreds and thousands, if not millions of times. So most of time, they just need to change the 'details' of their former clients with their new client's details and the documents are ready to be submitted to the court. 


At some point, the same stories and issues are grouped to be submitted on the same day in a particular court just to make the judges' life easier. Listening to the same problem over and over. Giving the same ruling over and over.

The same stories. the same issues, eventually ends with the same ending. A divorce.

While long distance relationship is not the sole factor that generally leads to divorce, it certainly is among the most dangerous and the most difficult to handle. 

Their chances to survive a long distance relationship for years are very thin. What more to last forever. They just can't handle it separated for too long. No matter how loving and caring the partners are.

Why is it so difficult to survive a long distance relationship?

From constant observation of human interactions for years, these are the main reasons why long distance relationships has been the the reason behind millions divorces around the globe:

Sexual Need

have you heard some people say, 'a marriage without sex has no way to stay strong"?

Or, "a sex deprived marriage is a problematic marriage"?

Do believe in those sayings.

Because in 99% of time, it's undeniably true.

Why is that so? Why is sex can make or break your relationship? 

simple. Because the two soul in a marriage are human's. They exist with needs. and the most dangerous need of all is sexual needs. This need can change a father to a beast, a son to a monster, a sister to a snake, even a religious person to a devil.

One of the main reason to marry is to legalize sexual intercourse between spouses. Once you are married, you are pledged in a way to only have sexual intercourse with your partner and no one else.

And when the legal partner is unable to fulfill the need, how long can the loving soul last until frustration and anger takes over?

Psychologically, sexual intercourse can boost up the mutual love and affection between couples. In most cases, sex can solve any given problem in a relationship.
It's a love potion. A stress relief tonic. A must vitamin to a happy life.

Emotional Need

Do you own a cat? or a dog? How do you connect with them? How do they know that you are his owner? How do you build the love and trust relationship with them? By calling their names per se? Can your dog be connected with you if you don't touch him?

Don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that our spouse are pets.
Let's focus on the interaction built.

The more loyal the dog or the cat is, generally measured by how close is your physical interaction with them.

Is a dog that sleeps on their owners bed has the same amount of loyalty and affection towards their owner with the dog that sleeps outside? 

Is a dog that lies on his owner's lap while watching tv the same with the dog that sleeps by the door?

Will a dog which's been hugged whenever his owner come home, during dinner, while watching tv, before going to bed, before going to work and whenever possible, will act the same as a dog that's been put outside the house all day?

Interactions that produces the unbreakable trust and affection. You can't stay in love for too long without physical touches that connects you and your partner emotionally.

Loopholes to misunderstandings

This is as clear as the sky.

If you can't really control your son when they live with you, can you control them when they are far away from home?
If you can't stop your self from suspecting your husband or your wife on certain thing sometimes in your marriage when you live together, can you stop suspecting at all when he's or she's far away?
If your misunderstandings and quarrels usually cool off with sex or affectionate touches or looking at the face of your beloved partner, how do you plan to cool them off when they are far away? Is listening to their voices is sufficient? can the image from skype spark the same love and affection when you face them in 3d?


Let me share a case study on long distance relationship.

The end of an icon of perfect marriage. Long distance relationship problems

*******   Story of the Day  ******

A woman in her early thirties finally received her fate when she was divorced by her husband of 8 years. This is years of patience we are talking about. It's not 8 days. but 8 full years. we can hardly be patient to see our beloved other half after two to three days of separation, but this is 8 years. 

If we look at the fact of the case, early in their marriage life, the wife was blessed with a stable government job as a teacher hundred miles away from her husband's place of work. both can't let go of their profession. 

For eight full years, they were living as a weekend husband and wife. their weekdays were packed with work and friends.

In a glimpse of an eye, they appear as a happy married couple. 

Some says, the distance will make the love stronger and hotter. 

Many couples seem to take them as an example as a perfect long distance relationship couple.

and one day, which happens so suddenly, they returned to their friends as a divorced husband and wife.

They have no one to blame. in fact, they only have themselves to blame.

They chose their own destiny. they chose that very exact ending from the very beginning.

It's true, the distance would make the love and affection stronger and hotter, but bear in mind that theat'd be the case only when the distance is temporary, and it's not for far too long. as the blessing of 'missing' would gradually fade away and turns frustrations which would turn to loveless marriage in no time if it's not rescued in time.

So dear readers, when you have the opportunity and ability to choose your destiny, please choose it wisely.

In most of the time, value your relationship over your profession. A good and stable profession is a bless. but it can turn to a curse if it jeopardize your marriage and relationship.

With the love you receive from your loved one, you'll have the strength to rebuild your profession no matter where you are. In contrast, no matter how wonderful your profession is, it'd nothing without the love of our loved ones.

So choose carefully. Decide wisely. for the best life is one which is full of love and affection.

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Tackling Love and Relationship issues is not easy.

We are tackling the most mysterious part of human life. The Emotions.

Some are born sensitive, some are born dense to the core.

Some are expressive in love, some are very secretive, timid and reserved causing unnecessary fights and misunderstandings, making human interaction an interesting subject to observe.

From lovers to spouses, 

From children and parents to siblings,

Even among friends,

Communication, love, desire, commitment, trust and many more are the important elements in keeping the relationship strong.

We are here to tackle every love and relationship issues possible.

Looking forward to share tips and solutions in relationship with you.

Thank you.